Pretend
by MizuRaiNa
Summary: Elizaveta had a crush on her best friend for two years. She thought she must tell him about her feeling and then—somehow she regret it. / PrussHung / #23 of #365StoriesProject / RnR? :D


Hetalia is Hidekaz Himaruya's

**Pretend** © 2014

by MizuRaiNa

Prussia **x** Hungary fan fiction

#23 of #365StoriesProject

..

Elizaveta hated sitting beside Gilbert who kept silent for much times today. She glimpsed at him. She took a deep breath, mulling to begin a conversation or not. Really, her chest felt crowded. She hated the fact that somehow, she couldn't managed to gain control of herself about her feeling.

Yeah, two days ago she ever told Gilbert she loved him. But he replied it with 'are you kidding, rite?'. Her lips smiled—pretended he was fine and tried to take her confess as a joke. And yesterday, she wanted to talk something to him in a park bench. So here they are.

She thought about him, about their relationship. She thought about how they get along since two years ago, smiling and laughing as though they had no other care around them. She remembered how she had started to like him. And then she realized that she love him—something she had figured out months before. The most things that she really didn't want to feel.

"I ... want to ask you something," Elizaveta said.

He frowned, looked at her with astonished gaze. There were many times that Elizaveta asked him. But now, it seemed more serious.

"What? Am I awesome? Absolutely yes," he answered, tried to make a joke but it didn't work at all.

She bit her bottom lip. Gilbert always like this; hard to be serious, even she looked not fine right now.

"No, Gilbert. That's not it." She respited for a moment. "How ... how's your feeling toward me?"

Gilbert frowned. "What do you mean?" he asked. In fact, he had known what she would say about. But he prefers pretending to didn't get what she asked.

She sighed, stared somewhere else as long as it isn't his red eyes. "I mean ... I guess, I love you."

Gilbert smiled so wide. "I love me too."

See? He threw a joke instead...

Elizaveta made a bitter smile on her lips. "No hope then," she murmured to herself but he could hear it. His smile immediately disappeared. He truly didn't know how to respond.

"But, I can't. I can't be ..." He stopped his words, thought twice what he would say.

Tears began falling from her eyes. She can't handle it anymore. "Well, I know it. Ok, bye. I'll leave first." She moved, and then she ran as far as she could—with sniffled.

.

.

The sky was dark when she woke up. She overslept since she returned home. Gilbert's words buzzed in her ears. She had already known it would be like that. But ... she just wanna know ... ah, enough. She didn't want to think about it anymore.

She stepped to the window. Closed it and so the curtain. She was turning on the lamp when a sound of a mobile phone rang. Minutes later, she took her mobile phone.

Three messages from him, Gilbert. As she thought.

_Hi Eliza_

_Eliza?_

_Sorry, I didn't mean to say such terrible thing like that. To be honest, I ... doubt. And I think, I prefer to be your best friend than to your lover. I was gonna tell you but I already see sadness in your eyes. So, I will tell you now. I refuse because ... I'm afraid. I'm afraid to make my precious best friend cry again. It makes me sad. I just can't keep stay, I wanna do something but I dunno how. And then, in my PoV best friends are 2nd priority after parents. The other reason is ... I'm not a serious person. I can't be serious, especially about love. Honestly, I love to talk jokes with you. I like how you smile. Its make my day. And I'm serious right now._

_I'm sorry, I really sorry ... I hope you understand ... and we can be best friend as usual day. Joking each other, trolling you, chitchats, and so on. It's awesome!_

Her lips started shaking—therefor she bit her bottom lip. _'How can I be your best friend as before? How? It's hard Gilbert. Too hard,' _she thought. With shaky hand, she typed her reply.

_Why ... why you tell me now? If you tell me before I decide to forget you, I wouldn't hope too much_

_I'm afraid, sorry. I'm really sorry..._

_No need your apologize. It's all my fault_

_No, it's my fault not to saying it earlier. Oh _Gott_! Sorry ..._

She can't hold her tears anymore. Why ... why it turned out like this? Is it impossible to loving him and a bit hope that he will love her?

"Elizavetaaa~ wake up dear. Time to dinner~" Her Mom's voice bring back to her reality. She wiped her tears and try to smiling as usual.

"Yes Mom. I'm coming~ wait a minutes."

Yeah, she had to forget it for a while—if she could she want to forget her feelings and restart their relationship from beginning. But she knew she couldn't.

She stepped two steps. She remembered not yet replied.

_Ok_

Two characters, one simple word. She didn't care about Gilbert's next reply. She threw her mobile phone at random upward her bed. Then she continued her step to dinner with her family and tried to hide all her pains inside. A mask that hid the tears that none could see inside the fake happiness ...

She noded a little, then made a fake smile. She could pretend all to be fine, like nothing happen. She thought, it would be better if she just buried her feeling in her deepest heart. Yeah, it should be like that.

.

.

.

.

_No matter how many times I try to throw out my feelings, I can't help but loving you as I did before ..._

.

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—**end**

**Sorry for a lot of mistakes—especially for grammar. **_**Well**_**, English is my third language. So feel free to correct! :D**

**..**

**Regards,**

**MizuRaiNa**


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